2008년 9월 12일 금요일

question 1(rewritten)

My name is Cho Yeon-Joo. To give you a brief summary of my life, I was born on 1993 and went abroad to Canada when I was 11 yearse old. I stayed there fore 2 years and came back here. My hobby is to play the piano or read books. My goal is to become a person who everyone looks up to.

댓글 1개:

eLearning :

Irene, I've simply rewritten your answer and corrected the grammar errors.

My name is Cho Yeon-Joo. To give you a brief summary of my life, I was born in 1993 and went abroad to Canada when I was 11 years old. I stayed there for 2 years and came back here. My hobby is to play the piano or read books. My goal is to become a person who everyone looks up to.

Not sure what your thoughts are here but if I'm an interviewer reading or listening to this response, it sound very generic and programmed. This is exactly what we were talking about in class. You don't need to talk about when you were born. You should talk a little about who you are now and how attending the school can help you get to where you want to be!